GYMRAT

How I found my mind.

Everyone knows that fitness is a mental game as much as it is a physical one. If you haven’t learned that lesson yet reread that line and let it soak in._dsc6095

I hit my goal weight just in time for my wedding. It wasn’t necessarily what I was losing weight for but it was nice all the same. I got down to 135 pounds and I was pretty close to a size four. All of my dreams were coming true. I was marrying the man of my dreams, my dress was gorgeous, we had an awesome honeymoon planned and it didn’t rain. My whole life was coming together to make me absolutely ecstatic!

I loved the way I looked in clothes but my appearance without them depressed me. I could only see the way my skin sagged. I hadn’t built as much muscle as I’d expected. Where were the defined glutes and quads that I had expected to see? Where was all the confidence I had once had? My mindset was horrible at this point. I was completely distraught over my appearance. Because it hadn’t been what I was expecting. Because I had a negative mindset. Because I was being way too hard on myself.

I knew for a fact that my pursuit of fitness had endowed me with a lot of mental toughness. I didn’t realize that my lack of mental acceptance and internal positivity was going to hold me back. I have always been really hard on myself and stressed about everything. I let my expectations disappoint me instead of making them a reality.

Only recently have I made it a goal to have a strong positive mindset no matter what. It has made a huge impact on my life. I feel lighter and happier all of the time. I cherish the opportunities that I have to be active. I am mentally supportive of myself whether I am doing amazingly or having a really rough day. Since then I have gained back 25 pounds. Not all of this is fat but I have gained a couple sizes back. I am actually happier with myself now. Not because I prefer myself at this particular size but because I have shifted how I view myself.

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